NOT AVAILABLE IN ANY STORE✦ACT MEOW✦MADE TO ORDER IN DARKNESS✦THE ORIGINAL CAT METAL MERCH✦HOLY SHIT!!!✦9 SHELTERS BANNED FROM✦
Free worldwide shipping over $75
🐈‍⬛BRUTAL
KITTENS

As seen on the internet

Now That’s What I Call
Purrzum!

Lo-fi black metal for cats who record in the bedroom and stare into the void

Not available in any store!*

Burzum is the definitive bedroom black metal project — one creature, total solitude, a guitar plugged into a stereo amp, and the most intentionally raw sound ever committed to tape. The aesthetic is frigid Norwegian forests, candlelit darkness, and trance-like repetition designed to induce altered states. Replace the human with a cat who knocks the candle off the altar and you have the exact same vibe.

Any self-respecting lone-wolf kvlt cat sheds their corpse-paint for a Purrzum tee — because true grimness needs no dress code, only claws and total atmospheric commitment.

Burzum Albums, Ranked

Ranking: Metal Music Archives
  1. 01
    Hvis lyset tar oss1994 · 4.09 / 5→ ours: Purrzum
    Order now
  2. 02
    Belus2010 · 3.65 / 5
    Not yet pressed
  3. 03
    Fallen2011 · 3.51 / 5
    Not yet pressed
  4. 04
    Filosofem1996 · 3.46 / 5
    Not yet pressed
  5. 05
    Det Som Engang Var1993 · 3.35 / 5
    Not yet pressed
  6. 06
    Hliðskjálf1999 · 3.35 / 5
    Not yet pressed
  7. 07
    Burzum1992 · 3.27 / 5
    Not yet pressed

Liner notes

  • Filosofem (1996) was recorded in March 1993 — nearly three years before its release. Vikernes plugged his guitar directly into his brother's stereo amplifier and asked a sound technician for the worst microphone available; he was handed an old helicopter headset. The resulting lo-fi sound was entirely intentional.

    Source: Wikipedia — Filosofem

  • The opening track 'Dunkelheit' from Filosofem received a music video that aired on both MTV and VH1 — a rare feat for a raw black metal album deliberately engineered to sound as abrasive as possible.

    Source: Wikipedia — Filosofem

  • Hvis lyset tar oss (1994) was recorded in September 1992 at Grieg Hall in Bergen, Norway — almost two years before its release. The album closes with a 14-minute atmospheric keyboard piece, a format that would define the dark ambient direction of Burzum's later records.

    Source: Wikipedia — Hvis lyset tar oss

  • The Filosofem artwork is sourced from Theodor Kittelsen's 19th-century painting 'Op under Fjeldet toner en Lur' ('Up in the hills a clarion call rings out'), continuing Burzum's use of Norwegian Romantic art as visual identity across multiple releases.

    Source: Wikipedia — Filosofem

What the operators are hearing

“I received the Purrzum shirt for Christmas in a size Small. I'm petite and only 5' and usually wear a small or XS in most clothing brands, but when I received this, it was really tight. I could wear it, but it wasn't comfortable. Finally we got an exchange and I got a medium. It fits a lot better, but still isn't quite how these types of shirts usually fit on me. The neck also seemed a big high. I really like the company and designs, all I can say is that maybe it would be nice if they had a different style of shirt with a slightly more scoop neck and one that doesn't come up as high/tight on the neck, and maybe got some that are slightly looser to be more true to size. These are extremely fitted.”
Verified buyer · Purrzum Women's T-Shirt

Frequently screamed questions

What is Purrzum?

Purrzum is Brutal Kittens' parody of Burzum, the legendary Norwegian one-man black metal project. Same brooding atmosphere, zero corpse paint — just cats in the void.

Do I need to know black metal to get the joke?

Not at all. If you love cats and appreciate the aesthetic of staring into the abyss at 3 a.m., you're already halfway there. Metal literacy earns bonus kvlt points.

What products are available in the Purrzum collection?

The Purrzum design comes on a classic tee, women's tee, tank top, crop top, and hoodie — all in true underground-bedroom-recording-session colours.

Do the shirts run true to size?

Our women's styles run fitted and high-necked — verified buyers recommend sizing up one size for a more relaxed fit. Check the size guide on each product page before ordering.

Is this collection endorsing the artist's personal views?

Absolutely not. Purrzum celebrates the lo-fi, ambient, trance-inducing sound and aesthetic of the music only — and replaces everything else with cats.

Operators are standing by. Meow meow meow.

* Fine print: it is, in fact, available right here. Made to order, printed for you. Parody, fan-made, not affiliated with Burzum.